It is said that in order to move foreword you have to know where you have been. I do. I feel ready to move foreword. It's all I have at this point. The space I have now is as open as the wind. All I know is that I don't need anyone to define me. I don't need anyone to complete my parts. I don't need extra input about my journey. It is my journey. Join me by my side if you like ... but take your own path along side me.

We don't have to know who we'll be and where were going all the time. We don't have to know who we are all the time. It should just be that we " are ". This is why I love expressive abstract art. Abstract portrays an array of life's loopholes, existential moments, and a complex mixture of emotions. This is really how we feel each day..even if we are " stable" ... there are confusions underneath. Why do we fear the confusion so much? There is beauty in it too.

I find that people try to define them self into categories and show where they are going in their life all the time and sometimes on that path they miss the amazing view of the journey...they let life pass them without looking out the window. Why box yourself in? Why commit to a label and live by it or live by a set of rules created for you?

There are parts of me that have lived inside a box and lived by the standards of another/others and there are parts of me that have given into society with small fears about what people may think etc...I'm so over it. I'm just going to be who I want to be all the time. I'm taking my life back daily. I have given away so much for a long time. The gift of life is my own. I give the gift of life to me.

I will color my confusion.

I will cut windows in my box till my box is a pile of compost and I'll grow flowers from it. I will put them in a vase and sip tea at a table where they bloom in the sun and smell them and live my life how I want to.

In color.

I thought about going out today and painting in the sun..or painting somewhere new maybe on a busy corner in the city...I thought about what to paint...buildings? people? flowers? something " different" but I realized what I have known and often forget is that the best things are random and without line or planning. To trust the mistakes and create from them as they happen and turn them into something great without regret. This is how I make my art.

There is resilience in me